Dear Friend, as we are in the month of Valentines, I want to share with (4) tips to assist you in your relationships.
How do you keep from repeating the old behaviors and patterns that no longer serve you in your relationships and your life?
You have to make creating the relationships and life you really want more important than holding on to the behaviors and patterns that no longer serve you.
If unhealthy behaviors or holding onto patterns is something you’d like to stop doing, then begin making a new choice starting right now.
Instead of blaming and judging someone who you habitually find fault with, find something to celebrate in that person the moment you begin the blame process in your mind.
When faced with the choice of being right or being kind, choose kindness. Before you say that unkind word to a loved one, consider whether this will bring you closer together or tear you apart.
I could give you example after example of what you might do, but the point is that only you can focus your attention on creating your relationships and your life the way you want it to be.
To break destructive, habitual patterns that are so strong in your relationships, you have to first create your intentions for what you truly want and then focus your awareness on making changes one moment at a time.
Here are four suggestions for creating a more positive and a happier, more fulfilled life:
1. No matter what the situation or relationship, create your intention for what you want. It doesn’t have to be elaborate.
It can simply be saying to yourself – “Here is what I want to happen…” and be excited about it. Actively begin focusing on what you want for your experiences and not on what you don’t want.
2. Stay open to new possibilities for your relationships and your life. If you intend what you want to happen but are not open to the possibility that your life or relationship can change, they won’t. Keep the past in the past and stay focused on the present.
3. Make having fun a priority in your relationships and in your life. Having fun means different things to different people. Figure out what having fun means to you and do those things and create those experiences on a regular basis.
4. Is it a Yes or is it a No? What does it mean in regard to your relationship? Whether we realize it or not, our ability to make conscious decisions about the things in our relationships and in our lives will largely determine our happiness.
We constantly make choices, either consciously or unconsciously, about how we will use our time, who we will be with, and what we will do. All these decisions (or lack of decisiveness) positively or negatively affect our happiness.
What happens when we don’t make a definite “yes” or “no” is we get stuck in “maybe land” and others decide for us by default how we’ll live our lives.
Here is an example of what I am talking about. Imagine you and your partner or you and a friend decide to go to the movies this Friday night.
There are several possible choices of movies at the theater and you begin talking about what you’d like to see with your partner or friend. Imagine that your partner or friend has a strong preference toward one movie and you’d really like to see another but don’t say anything.
You give your partner or friend a weak, “maybe” or “I don’t care” and you end up seeing the movie they want to see. Later, you feel resentful and angry because this always seems to happen and you “never get to see the movie you want to see.”
It’s very important to empower yourself to make conscious choices to create the relationships and life you want. ((Extracted from my ebook ( 9 Types Of Relationships That Don’t Work Sub Titled – Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places – Now available on Amazon and www.moneyandabundance.com)
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Until next time, make this a week one in which you are living your life to the fullest.
With appreciation and gratitude
Nigel St. Hill is a writer and a life coach helping women who are ready to discover their path to love, happiness, success and abundance , so that they could live the life of their dreams. He is the founder of http://www.moneyandabundance.com and author of the book, Money Management Caribbean Style and several ebooks including 12 Secrets to Creating Money and Abundance Caribbean Style, 8 Money Management Secrets for Caribbean Women, Creative But Practical Ways to Save money, 8 Simple Ways to Live a Healthy Abundant Lifestyle, 9 Types of Relationships That Don’t Work and 7 Steps To Becoming An Empowered Single Woman